Happy Hump Day!

Rules for the New Diet:
If you eat something and no-one sees you eating it, it cancels out the calories.
When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count if you do not eat more than they do.
Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as hot chocolate,brandy,or wine.
If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something.
Anything consumed while standing has no calories. This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.
Anything consumed from someone else’s plate has no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to his/her plate.


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